“Just like physical exercise, mental workouts take time and consistency to see results, but they build the strength and resilience that shape who you are.” – Dr. Caroline Leaf
The coffee meet-up went well, as it always does. I even told her that, as sad as it sounds, it’s often the highlight of my week. I say it’s sad because it makes me realize how little is happening during the rest of my week. Like I’ve said before, I think it’s because I feel emotionally isolated in my studio apartment.
I was on medication for anxiety and depression, but I stopped because it wasn’t working for me—in fact, it often made things worse. Some of the medications would almost completely stop the panic attacks, but they left me feeling deeply depressed. On the other hand, the antidepressants helped me sleep, but I’d wake up feeling incredibly anxious. In the end, I realized medication wasn’t the right solution for me.
Lately, I’ve been practicing meditation, and I can honestly say it’s helping. It’s teaching me how to stay in the moment and be kinder to myself. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself, but meditation is helping me break that habit.
During our conversation, my ex reminded me that I have my physical health, to which I quickly responded that I don’t have my mental health. I even said my mental health is “out of shape.” She reminded me that’s exactly why I’m working on it, and she encouraged me to stay focused on my mental health the same way I’ve focused on my physical health for years.
That’s what I’m doing now—trying to be more mindful, meditating, and even journaling, like I’m doing right now. I’m doing the best I can, though sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough or like I’m seeing results quickly enough. But I remind myself it’s just like working out. You don’t see fast results, but if you make it a lifestyle, progress happens over time.
That’s my goal: to make my mental health practices a part of my lifestyle, just like I’ve done with physical fitness.